Thursday, October 4, 2007

The Beat Generation

William S. Burroughs wasn't one.
Jack Kerouac was a degenerative alcoholic who wrote an interesting novel in 3 days.
Allen Ginsberg is simply proof of the dangers of Ketamine.
Lawrence Fehrlinghetti ran a bookstore.
Anne Waldman was a lit slut.
Jackson Pollock was a Cold War fabrication.
Andy Warhol was an autistic lightning rod tuned to a bad station--which is pretty neat, actually.
Jasper Johns just gets old really quick
Charles Bukowski was a disgusting, hyper-adolescent fantasy.
Bob Dylan plays the guitar and sings. Get over it.
Tom Waits isn't rugged or wise. He just acts it.
Lou Reed is self-centered and grumbly.
Patti Smith writes poetry like a high school student who's into T.S. Eliot.
Hunter S. Thompson was tripping the whole damn time.
Jim Carroll just plain sucks.
Jim Jarmusch is too obsessed with how his hair looks to be brilliant.

To all you hanger-ons and acolytes who anointed yourselves 'beatniks' and gladly admitted the label "rebellious icon" from the culture you supposedly 'countered': You are not as cool as I thought you were in high school, and probably got a lot of smart people hooked on booze, cigarettes, and heroin. Get up there and sing "We Are The World" with the real deals like Prince and Stevie Wonder. Thanks for slam poetry.

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