Kenning

I'm playing with kennings Antique white people were a brutal folken. This is probably what they sounded like.

The Hanged God, his brow stars keened to feed the eagles in the spear din, lifted his onion of war and blood-ember to make a raven harvest. Rawwwwr! [Translation: Odin, his eyes angry, lifted his sword and axe to kill some guy.]

Sif's hair shone in the glory of the elves and a valleytrout did sing Grimnirs lipstrings in the earthgrip. Berzerkschong!! [Tr. Gold gleamed in the sun, and a snake read poetry in the dirt.]

The ravenfeeder treebroke his bloodworm against the Slayer of the Giants, hewing his wolf's joint. Aegir's daughters of slaughter dew spilled from the mountain of the hawk and the breaker of rings flame-farewelled to the sleep of the sword. Braaardz![Tr. The warrior cut off Thor's arm. Waves of blood spewed from his wrist and he died}

The breaker of trees sent the steed of billows across the whaleroad. Grrryyllwd! [Tr. The ship sailed across the sea]

The manlocked meatflame truthcoated a weapon-warred geekfeeder! Fyyylllggrlyd!!! [Tr. "300" was a gay porno disguised as an action film.]

Well, time to footchariot to the hearth-hold and teethgrip a seachicken grainpocket with with blood-dew. Berserkodygn!!! (Go home and eat a tuna sandwich with catsup!)

God, I would be such a cool English teacher